


Everybody Gets There (Everybody Gets Their Way)

by evol_love



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Coming Out, Friendship, Gen, Lesbian Alexis Rose, Lesbian Character, Male-Female Friendship, rewrite of the Alexis & Ted 4x11 scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-29 04:46:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18771475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evol_love/pseuds/evol_love
Summary: “Saying something you’ve kept hidden out loud? Yeah, it was pretty freeing,” Mutt says.“I think I need to leave.”“It’s still raining!”“Yeah, I know, I know, there’s um. There’s like, something I need to do.”//A lesbian rewrite of Alexis talking to Ted in 4x11.//





	Everybody Gets There (Everybody Gets Their Way)

**Author's Note:**

> I started watching this show a few weeks ago with my girlfriend (Anna @phonecallfromgod) and we've binged it VERY quickly. I've grown to really love Ted both as a character and as a love interest for Alexis, but we still maintain that our girl Alexis is a lesbian. Her entire character arc just makes infinitely more sense that way. As much as I genuinely loved 4x11, I knew I had to rewrite that scene that could have SO seamlessly and easily been a coming out scene. 
> 
> Thank you to Anna for encouraging me to write this and for watching the show with me in the first place <3 And thank you to Meg for helping me brainstorm a title! 
> 
> Title from "That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed)" by Panic! At the Disco
> 
> Also note that as this is a scene rewrite, a good chunk of this dialogue IS lifted right from the original scene. I in no way take credit for that. all the stuff in Mutt's barn and the stuff in the office up through "thank you Ted, but this is different" belongs to the writers and the show <3 Nothing but love and respect there.
> 
> I hope you enjoy! I will veeeeery probably be writing more Schitt's Creek fic, specifically a sequel to this feat. Rose siblings.

She’s had a vague inkling about this for awhile, an inkling getting less and less vague the more time they spend here in Schitt’s Creek, but it’s not until Mutt tries to kiss her in the barn while the rain comes down around them that it hits her, square in the chest, a block of concrete. 

“What is happening?” she asks, half to herself as much as to him, laughing a little to fill the space as she tries to figure out just what the hell is going on.

“I don’t know,” Mutt says. He has the decency to sound a bit sheepish. “I just thought, we were here, it’s raining, it felt like nothing had changed.”

“Yeah,” Alexis says, voice a little shakier. She’s approaching...Something. “I can see how you would make that leap, but. Things have changed for me,” she tells him, Ted and college and her box of business cards sitting on her nightstand at the motel a swirl in her mind’s eye. 

There’s a pause. She’s not sure if it’s a good or a weird or an awkward pause. It gives her a moment to think, though, so she’s grateful for it. Her heart pounds against her ribcage even worse than the time she’d had to think quick to get herself and eight of her closest personal friends out of a sticky international coup situation back in 2013. Her brain is only just now catching up to the fact that Mutt tried to kiss her and she pulled away. She thinks of Ted again, of the people who’d told her he clearly still had feelings for her. And the thing is, that thought makes her heart clench, but not in the way she’d thought it would. She’s neither excited by this idea nor worried about it. After seeing him with Heather, she’s pretty confident he’s not just biding time until Alexis falls back into his arms.

And she doesn’t want him to be.

“That’s cool,” he says at last, huffing a humorless laugh. “We did have some fun in here, though.”

She scrunches up her nose at the memory, smiling. “Yeah, we did,” she agrees.

“You were quite the heartbreaker.”

“Yeah. Not, like, suuuuper proud of that, um.” She swallows. She’s fairly certain she’s on the edge of something right now, something big and important and scary, like when she and Hilary Duff played Truth or Dare in that horrible suite in Prague. Suddenly she’s wishing Ted was here, that she was sitting with Ted in this barn, or in the office, or in his too-clean house. She wants to talk to Ted. “So when you and Tallahassee had your talk, you said it was...freeing,” she starts. She’s not even sure where that came from—it’s not what she meant to say, certainly, but as soon as she does, it feels like the most natural thing in the world. 

Freeing.

“Saying something you’ve kept hidden out loud? Yeah, it was pretty freeing,” Mutt says. Her already-hammering heart picks up the pace; had Mutt just like, read her mind? How was he able to make that leap so easily? “Though in our case, it was mostly swears and we didn’t talk for a week, but it was worth it in the end. Who knows where I’d be right now if I just didn’t tell her how I felt.”

She nods almost on autopilot, thoughts elsewhere. It’s not quite quitting time yet, Ted’s probably getting the puppies ready for the incoming single crowd, she could catch him easily...

“Yeah,” she says softly. Decision made. “I think I need to leave.” 

“It’s still raining!” Mutt laughs. Alexis doesn’t join him.

“Yeah, I know, I know, there’s um. There’s like, something I need to do.” Alexis pulls herself away from her mixed up thoughts to give him a smile. She’s made up her mind. “But thank you for the talk, and for finishing up cleaning, because I’m obviously not gonna help with that.” Looking at him one last time, she registers that sitting this close to him in this space they have so much shared history in is doing absolutely nothing for her. “You’re a good one, Mutt,” she tells him. She means it. He is. Just. Not for her. She gathers up her things quickly and makes a dignified exit. “Okay, bye.”

It turns out that resolving to have an Important Conversation with Ted does not automatically resolve the weather as well, and Alexis is soaking wet almost as soon as she steps out of the barn. She squints through the sheets of rain to find her way, holding her bag over her head in a vain attempt to keep looking somewhat presentable. It doesn’t help much, but at least she feels like she’s doing something. 

She’d been half-afraid she’d lose her nerve the moment she left Mutt’s barn, but her resolve is strong all the way across town. It strikes her as weird that she’s not freaking out more about this, about something she hasn’t voiced to anyone else in her life, not really. But maybe that’s the best possible indication that this is really it. It’s time. And it’s Ted. She’s ready. 

Taking a deep breath, she pushes open the front door of the veterinary clinic and walks in. Ted’s not in the main area, but she can hear his voice back in one of the rooms. As she rounds the corner and finds him with the puppies, she hears him telling them all with total earnest sincerity, “...and don’t worry, I’ll be vetting everyone in advance,” before chuckling softly. She beams at the absolute dork she’s come to love. Yeah. She loves Ted. She really does. 

The tap of her fingernails on the filing cabinet is a bit more abrupt than she means it to be, and Ted turns around in a panic, even the puppies sharing in his startled expression.

“Hi,” she says, trying to reassure him. His self-conscious look stays.

“H-hi...how long have you been standing there?” he asks sheepishly. 

“Um, long enough.”  
“I was just giving them a little pup talk,” he tries, and Alexis knows she has put her trust and heart and just like, soul-baring realness into the perfect hands.

“Okay, Ted I have a few things to say and I need you just to listen.” It comes out infinitely more measured and collected than she feels, because for all that she’s made up her mind to talk to him about this, she also made absolutely zero effort to actually think through how she was going to say it. And suddenly, saying it in just the right way seems really freaking important. She has to get this right; she owes that to Ted as much as herself.

“Okay, uh, is it about the puppies though, just because they're kind of fragile right now, so maybe we should go in the other room...”

She shakes her head and cuts him off gently. “It’s not about the puppies.”

He gawps at her like a dumb fish for a second. “Oh, okay, good.”

“Okay.” She squares her shoulders, pulling in another deep shuddery breath to try and organize her trail mix jumble of thoughts. “So as you know, Singles Week has been taking up a lot of my time, um, because this could be like a big step forward in my career, and generally speaking this is like a very cute look for me-”

“Okay...”

“Mmm—not finished yet,” she cuts him off again. “The problem is, um, I’ve been having a hard time focusing on this exciting career opportunity because my mind has been elsewhere.” It’s the best lead in she can come up with, but a fitting one, she thinks. Ted was really the first person to take her seriously in this sphere, as someone competent in the world of work and learning and thinking.

“Oh, I’d just assumed that’s how you always work,” Ted offers.

“Thank you, Ted, but this is different.”

At last he appears to realize the gravity of this situation and, like he had in the past, like she knew he would now, he looks at her seriously. He’s listening to her. Maybe it’s kind of pathetic how novel that is, but it is, and she drinks it up. 

“I think you might be my best friend here, Ted,” she tells him. He smiles softly, the concern that had settled at the corner of his mouth and in his eyes melting away. “Actually, let’s be real, I think you might be my best friend anywhere.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Ted scoffs.

“Well I am.” He shuts up at that. “That wasn’t supposed to be the point. That wasn’t my point. Shit.” She closes her eyes tightly, ugly words and feelings she never let herself put words to threatening to spill over at long last.

“Hey. Look at me.” She opens her eyes carefully. He’s got a hand on her shoulder and a reassuring look on his face. He’s comforting her, she realizes. He’s encouraging her to keep going. “It’s okay. It’s just me here.” He glances over at the cages and adds, “And the puppies, but I promise they’ll keep their opinions to themselves. Right guys?” One of the dogs sneezes in response and he coos back. She laughs. 

“Right. Okay. So, the thing is, um. I like girls.” The blood in her ears wants to drown her out like the ocean, but she pushes on. “Like. Only girls.” She giggles, honestly giggles, a stupid giddy thing she can’t suppress. “I’ve never even said that out loud before. You’re, you’re the first person I’ve ever told this. I’ve barely even told me. But, um.” She tucks a strand of her behind her ear, serious again, almost startlingly so. “I just. I trust you, Ted. This has been weighing on me so much lately while I’ve been organizing the event and I was thinking it through and suddenly I realized that I wanted to tell you about it more than anything in the world.” 

Ted’s eyes are watery, and he wipes away a tear as subtly as he possibly can when they’re standing about two feet apart before clearing his throat and saying, “Thank you for trusting me with this, Alexis. Really. I...wow. This really means so much to me, especially after everything with Chris. I just. I feel really honored that you wanted to come to me.” 

Her heart glows at his words, but she can’t help but ask, “Chris?”

“My brother,” he says, like that means anything. She continues smiling blankly at him in that way that scares people into explaining things to you and you don’t look stupid, just impatient. It’s a look she’s perfected over the years. “You know, my little brother?”

“I didn’t know you had a little brother,” she says. He frowns, more confused than upset.

“I told you about this on our fourth date, when I made us a picnic and you made that joke about this town being so straight you were surprised David didn’t explode into a cloud of glitter and Mariah Carey riffs?” 

She shakes her head sadly, admitting defeat on this particular round. He sighs. Disappointing Ted sucks so bad. 

“Okay. So my younger brother Chris is gay, and I was the very last person he came out to. Like, even our family dentist knew, and Chris had moved to Toronto five years before this. And it just, not to make the whole thing about myself because that’s exactly what you aren’t supposed to do, but it really sucked to find out how much he didn’t trust me. That for whatever reason I had made me feel uncomfortable and unsafe telling me that. And he and I are totally cool now, I’ve met his boyfriend a hundred times, but I still think about it a lot. So. Thank you.”

“That’s actually so sweet,” she tells him, a little misty-eyed herself. She has to ask, though, “Sorry, he thought you were too macho to be cool with the gay thing?”

“Hey!” he says, indignant. “You don’t think I’m Mr. Masculinity?” he asks, gesturing to his sky blue scrubs. 

“Not really.”

“Good,” he says. “I don’t want anything to do with that anyway.”

One of the puppies whines softly and Alexis remembers she has, like, a million other things that need to get done immediately. 

“I should probably head over to the cafe and make sure this isn’t a complete disaster,” she says, gesturing over her shoulder with her thumb. 

“Yeah, yeah, totally,” he says, nodding. 

She’s about to walk back out when she turns to add, “For the record? I think Carl is really lucky he has a brother like you.”

“Chris,” Ted says, but he smiles all the same. 

“And I’m pretty lucky I have you too.”

He reaches out then and pulls her into a hug. She buries her face in his shoulder, his neck, lets him rub her back gently and tell her that he’s proud of her and he’s so glad they’re friends. It’s not until he makes a tiny pained noise that she realizes just how tightly she’s holding onto him. She pulls away then, a little awkward, a little flustered, maybe a few tears on her cheeks. Which is super inconvenient because she hadn’t planned on crying today and she’d skipped the setting spray entirely. 

“You’re a really great guy, Ted. The best. And I, I hope this doesn’t make you feel too weird about us, you know, when we were...”

“Oh! Oh my gosh, no, I get it, totally. I’m man enough to admit that I’m a pretty safe choice when you’re in the closet and looking for someone non threatening to take care of you.” Alexis didn’t totally understand that entire thing, but she got the gist of it, at least enough to know that they’re going to be okay. 

It’s going to be okay. 

“Thank you. I just, I felt like if I didn’t tell you how I was feeling I would literally go insane.”

“I’m glad you did,” he says, sincere.

“You’re the sweetest man I’ve ever known.” She’s about to leave when she turns back to the dogs and adds, “Maybe I could take a puppy home for the night?”

“You know I can’t let you do that,” Ted says, suddenly all seriousness again. 

“Yeah, no. That’s no problem.” She flips her hair. “I was just thinking, if there was a particularly runty one, like Cindy...or like, no, no, that’s okay,” she aquiesces, watching Ted look more and more worried. “Okay. Well. This is going to be a very successful event,” she tells him with a smile, and his own matching grin returns.

“You’ve done an incredible job, Alexis. I mean that. You should be insanely proud.”

“I am.”

She smiles and gives him a little wave as she goes, walking out of the clinic and towards a great big something. Maybe Singles Week, maybe something else. Well. Okay, actually definitely Singles Week, but like, the possibility of a new life is on the table too. 

Eventually she’ll pull David away from his nice adorable boyfriend and spill everything, and he’ll either be shocked and unpack it with her for hours or pull out a sealed envelope containing a letter dated 2013 where he’d written “Alexis is totally a lesbian” all for the sake of being able to say I Knew It in the most dramatic way possible. Either way, they’ll probably drive out to the nearest mall for a celebratory shopping spree like they had when David came out to her. And then she’ll buy that crop top with “Baby Dyke” written in rhinestones that she’d been looking at online that one time she snuck eight Mai Tais while she was grounded in her bedroom at the old house. And maybe Stevie will ask about it and she’ll tell her everything too, and maybe they’ll get drinks or get dinner or just get the hell out of town for the weekend, and maybe it will be scary or maybe it will finally feel like her 999 puzzle pieces have found that last elusive edge. Or maybe none of that will happen at all and it still won’t matter because she told someone. And Ted supports her and cares about her and has a tragic gay brother backstory and she loves him so freaking much for it. All of it. 

The dozens of reasons and excuses she’d had in the past for not dealing with This all seem so insignificant now, here in Schitt’s Creek, where she has her family and a best friend and not one but two diplomas. She’s an event coordinator and a marketing expert, and dammit, she’s Alexis Rose and she’s a CEO and she’s a lesbian. None of those words seem far away anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again for reading! I hope you enjoyed - please leave me a kudos and/or comment to let me know!
> 
> Find me on tumblr at mlbevan.


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